Squirrel Pancakes...

Um, yeah...a terribly, horribly, unfortunately calamitous incident occurred this afternoon.  Categorically unavoidable.  I tried...really hard..for reals...I was on my way back from the house, picking up chanterelle mushrooms for my Thanksgiving stuffing...the situation was innocent...out of nowhere...this little, precious squirrel ran into the road as I was driving home....

"Oh, Mama!!  What was that?!?!?!?!?!?!"

I'm sorry, Eves...that was the sound of a little angelic squirrel under our front tire.  Yup.  I totally squished him...I even went back to check and make sure he could not be saved.  He was beyond being saved....My karma, what was left of it, is now totally gone...and there is a squirrel pancake in the middle of Pomona Street.....But if it makes anyone feel any better, I was able to wear my new boots today!

How's that for a segue!?!?!?!?  Squirrel pancakes to boots...only here, my friends!  Was that a callous remark???  I am totally not that kind of person....Well, I blame the boots and their awesomeness..I wore them to bed last night...and all day today.."Yeah, Mama...I love the boots!  They kinda-sorta rock like this boy I know..you may know him...well, um, yep...I'm most certain you do!"  I did take them off to shower, in case you were curious...just to clarify and such....

Cooking was on our agenda this evening, which is probably best.  My mother will be arriving tomorrow night..and is staying for FIVE WHOLE days, with me, in my apartment....isn't that wonderful?????  That was totally not a facetious remark...nope...not by any means..I'm just so excited I can hardly contain myself...winkety-wink....I'm sure we'll have a fantabulous time!  This means my blogging opportunities may not be normal ..not that they're ever normal or anything...but I won't be posting every day...much to your chagrin I am sure!  tisk-tisk...I'll be standing on top of the Sellwood bridge....contemplating...hahahahaha...just kidding...

"Don't jump, Mama!  How would I get home???  I don't have thumbs...I can't put the 4runner in drive!"

Shall we commence with dinner...I'm really on a dry spell with these toys and such...I'm working on finding some, but it is a slow process...WIP, as I continue to profess...dinner was nothing fancy...I'm almost afraid to say it out loud..but it was rather delicious...chicken...yup...along with pasta and broccoli with herb butter...please, don't hate me..it was all I had in the freezer...besides, I love chicken, so save the sass...only I am allowed to complain..why???  because I said so!

Pasta, herbs, parmesan cheese, broccoli, olive oil, butter and garlic (I forgot to include garlic in the photo)..oops..I continue to disappoint...these darn distractions!  jeesh!!

Begin by creating an herb butter...I personally liked this quite a bit...softened butter, minced garlic, oregano, rosemary and thyme...You'll have time to make this butter...tisk-tisk...these jokes...virtually impossible to resist!  I know, you don't really have time for my shenanigans...hahahahaha...I promise to stop...

Clean and create little beautiful florets of broccoli...it is painless...and spectacular...yeah...we probably should get out more often....but broccoli is beautiful and deliciously tasty!  Besides, use this as an opportunity....New Found Glory + Bootie Shaking = Terrific Evening...The ultimate mathematical equation...yup!  Totally beats Avogadro...for reals!

Dry, dry, dry the heck out of your chicken...I have a reason which will come to light in a moment...season with pepper...

Now, the chicken was prepared with minimal ingredients...pepper and olive oil...the process was more about the technique...I have lots of opinions on techniques, however, for the sake of time I shall refrain...but sometimes it is all about the technique..not necessarily the ingredients...just sayin'!

It all begins on the stove top...skin side down...relatively high heat for approximately 10-13 minutes...render the fat and such...that is crucial....then place in the oven for another 15 minutes to finish cooking...The skin was crispily, fantabulously delicious!  Yeah, portmanteau..wanna make something of it????  Blending rocks...I am rather linguistic in case you failed to notice...teehee....Well it does rock, like knee socks and new boots and boys....oh, and Green Day and Darren Chriss!

"So, Mama...ya know what else rocks...while we ARE on the subject....hmmm... clean sheets and new dresses...Well, that, and bacon..I do love bacon...oh, and M&M's...."

My meager meal...for a Tuesday...Although, I did rather enjoy the carbs and chicken...Neither can be beaten...

We're off...leaving on a jet plane....don't know when we'll be back again...well, perhaps after my mother goes back to PA..hahaha...TOTALLY kidding!  I've decided to become a life coach...it's my new calling...I would make an excellent one, no????  My motto...Drink Up!  It would make for a distinctive, yet attractive business card...merely something which one should consider...it does beat telecom, fo' sho'...Go listen to Lost in My Mind... I found that today!  I LOVE it!!  Not nearly as good as Radiolab...but I have a lot of catching up to do on that...Shall we all embrace the holiday..avoid squishing squirrels...and seriously consider hiring me to be your life coach...I don't work for free...However I would do a spectacular job!  Take a look at my life...hahahahahahahahaha...I just fell off my office chair after that remark.  We will be returning...yeah..shhhhh.....

Bootie-Licious...

Yeah...I stole that phrase...however I exchanged a consonant for a couple of vowels...you don't like it, Garden State...find me...I double-dog dare ya!  East Coast smack-down of sorts....right on, crouton!  It was a copyrighted phrase and such...perhaps leniency will be an option...Oh, already I have gotten way off track...Where was I...well, it is Monday...the worst day of the week..shh...at least it is a short week!  Back to my focus...my new BOOTS!!

BIG finger clap, my friends...My new awesome and incredibly wonderful new boots!  Thank you, Mom....Now will someone call me and take me out in public so I have a reason to wear these glorious boots...please????  I even bought a new dress!  It only took me three days to remove the security tag they failed to remove..so I really wanna wear this dress....and the boots, too...I'd look a tad silly all dressed up at The Wall...just sayin!

"So, Mama...do you know how to make a cello sound beautiful????  Sell it and by a violin!  Hahahahahha...again, as usual, I continue to crack myself up!"

She is totally jealous of my new super-cool boots...that's all..Aside from boot excitement over here on the west side...I did find a new toy...I will warn you now..Complete and utter disappointment...It has been ages since I acquired any new toys...this one really let me down...that Houston-based FunTastic company...I'm totally over them...Yup...

It alleges to fly up to 50 feet.  Lies.  Total and absolute lies.  I feel so betrayed.  I have a few photos of it out of the packaging....not blog worthy.  Nope...Can we forget this worthless piece of plastic ever existed???  Spin copter, who????

Now I do want to apologize for abandoning my friends of the world wide web for the past two days...I'm sure you missed me...as I missed you..and cooking as well..however, this is the moment which I become a tad bit coy...and it could or could not be about a boy..I plead the fifth...I'm a tax-paying citizen..I have rights...Yay for amendments and such!  Oh, and boys, too....

"Hey, Mama...What subject do snakes like??? Hiss-tory!!  hahahahahah"

Alright...we DID cook...for reals!  Something completely opposite of Thanksgiving...the bird is not the word in the west side tonight...Chilean Sea Bass with Coconut-Vegetable Chowder...yeah...I couldn't help myself...bass is my new favorite fish!  AND I haven't really eaten since Friday night, so I was pretty starving..

Shall we begin at the beginning...Lewis Carroll did say it best..no????  Onion, carrot, ginger, basil, potatoes, lime, coconut milk and seafood stock.

And we absolutely cannot forget fish sauce...fish sauce is the bomb!  Bee's knees, even....Key to this dish!!  Fo' Sho'

Sashay and saute...onions and such...in a little olive oil...no harm, no foul...

Add chopped carrots, garlic, ginger, a sprig of basil and some diced jalapeno...and whatever you do, do NOT rub your eye..well, unless you want to jeopardize your vision..again, I speak from experience...note to self...thoroughly wash your hands after chopping jalapenos...ouch!

Proceed to add coconut milk...which is indeed heavenly, BTW...It is my duty to keep you informed...yup...civic and such...

Add seafood stock..I made seafood stock a month or so ago...It does keep well in the freezer, and is way better than vegetable stock (which is what the recipe called for initially)...  Allow this all to simmer away for about an hour...flavors need to meld and unite..become harmonious in nature..Use this time to shake bootie..listen to some music...it does a body good!  Much better than milk!  New Found Glory rocks!!  Boy Crazy and Vegas...excellent selections...I know my stuff...trust me...yup...

 

Strain the vegetables...into another pan...we are getting closer..and the broth is SO delicious!  I'd never lie to you...I may be coy... ambiguous, in fact...but I'd never lie....especially not to my friends on the world wide web...

Reheat the broth and add potatoes and carrots...

While this simmers and cooks...prepare your sea bass...

Begin with an egg bath..

Coat with a mixture of Panko bread crumbs, dried basil, pepper, garlic powder and a dash of cayenne..

Brown your sea bass in a little olive oil and butter...three minutes per side...an approximation, of course...

"Ya know, Mama...I used to be indecisive...Now I'm not sure...."

Kinda looks like a pork chop, no???  It was full of flavor.  Again, sea bass rocks...like knee socks...and Darren Chriss...and new boots...and boys and such...

Well...we are off..to bed...it has been a rather long weekend...unless you have any objections...I shall close with a brief summation...and I totally vouch for the credibility of my meal...make sea bass...really, one must...I promise not to prosecute if you don't, well, perhaps those that are cute...tee-hee... however, I do know best...Like how much new boots rock, and boys and being coy and Green Day, and a plethora of other things...I'm running out of time..Do not ever forget...it is all about the Benjamins...Good night, my world wide web friends....I'll be back with a vengance tomorrow...please have no fear....Underdog is here!!  and please return...I did ask nicely...

A Milestone of Sorts...

Metaphorically speaking, of course...we are ALL about drama over here on the west side..I've always professed we are complete and utter WIP's...

"So, um...yeah, Mama...speak for yourself....now YOU may be a walking disaster I, on the other hand, am a well-put-together kinda gal...just sayin' as you don't want to confuse our readers...tisk-tisk!"

She is quite the punk, actually..no angel by any means...I have documentation to substantiate such claims..yup...Where were we???  Oh, yeah..milestones..Speaking of which..ta-daaaaa...

The 4runner hit 200,000 miles this morning when I ran out for coffee...I'm sure by saying this out loud and such, it will break down tomorrow, or blow up, or fall to pieces, or be stolen..Anyhoo...I've always wrecked my cars before they hit this mark...Oh, and please don't judge my dust and dirt...my car is an absolute pit...shhhhhh....

Regardless...we had no excitingly fun new toys with which we played..or maybe we did and I'm just not telling you..hmmm....define toy...the ambiguity continues...so I shall focus..super-focus on the meal...Delicata squash stuffed with white beans, spinach and pancetta. 

Meet Delilah, the delicata squash...she was pretty boring...shhhh..well, she was..we had zero fun...I should have picked that Dexter squash...the things he said to me at the market...hmm, yeah...totally...

So I was left with no choice...nope...

Cut Delilah right in half...no worries...no regrets..And, if you're a resourceful kinda person, save the seeds to toast and eat later...I wasn't feeling all that resourceful...and for that I will not apologize...

Once the seed-ectomy has been performed on your squash...drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with pepper...roast in a 350 degree oven for about an hour...

While Delilah roasts... attend to an agglomeration of white beans...

Rinse and pick over your beans....they totally could use a little bath, and it is considerably doubtful they will complain...

Allow them to simmer and shimmy-shimmy ya away on your stove-top, adding chicken stock pro re nata..or PRN in the lovely world of acronym...and be sure and listen to a little ODB...while we're on acronyms...

In all actuality, it takes significantly longer for your beans to cook than your squash to roast...so you could start these first..totally your call..or you could even just buy a can of beans...I only buy canned beans when it's an extreme emergency...but I'd never judge..nope...for reals!

"Hey, Mama...do ya know what you get when a dinosaur steps on your garden????  Squash!!!  hahahahahaha...To this day I continue to crack myself up!  What ever would you do without me, and my sense of humor, which is paramount in nature???"

Joking aside..it's time to take your squash out of the oven.  Be careful..it's hot..um like..um...hmmm...I sense a joke here, seriously..my nose is twitching like crazy...however, I shall refrain..Instead, go listen to a little Weezer...The Girl Got Hot...excellent song!  Feel free to shake some bootie..just don't burn yourself...I never, ever burn myself..nope..nor are my arms teeming with scars from burns..nope...

Delilah is beautiful...is she not????  Delicious as well...The bee's knees, on might be inclined to say....kinda, sorta like..ummmm...you know...

Moving along, it is time to prepare the stuffing which we will place in the roasted squash...

Pancetta, spinach, sage, garlic, parmesan,  Panko, and last..but not least..your cooked white beans...(they didn't fit on my teeny-tiny cutting board...oops)  Feel free to send me a larger cutting board...however, I will not get my hopes up...I'm STILL waiting for that Willis Coach Bag in Mahogany...

 

Fry...fry...fry far-far away...with your pancetta...until you cry or sigh..oh, me..oh, my...shall we throw in a butterfly or two..???

Reserve a little of the grease from the pancetta and saute your minced garlic...saute and sashay away....now is a good time for the World Tour 2005...I promise I won't tell a soul..shhhh....cross my heart!

Time to wilt your spinach...Chamberlain style...tisk-tisk...BTW...WILT is a little Blind Melon...that Shannon Hoon was a cutie...just sayin'

Add your beans to the spinach, garlic, parmesan, Panko and pancetta mixture...stir to combine...cause a little commotion...I totally promote commotion...and pandemonium...moderation is not an option...nor is it all that much fun...

Stuff your bean stuffing into the stuff...that orange-colored stuff...fill to the brim...however, do not overstuff...as it will leave you in a huff...unless you are tuff...have you had enuff...???  tee-hee...

Top your stuffed stuff with a mixture of Panko and parmesan...P2P...not nearly as great as F2F...but rather tasty...proceed to drizzle with a bit of olive oil..

Roast at 425 for approximately 15 minutes...The aroma...sublime..like rhyme...divine...

Not something I was able to plate easily...It looked a little awkward...Way awkward, in fact...I served with some mixed greens and vinaigrette...

I prefered it when everything was all mixed-up together...proceed to gormandize....get it???  gourds are in the same family as squashes...both words sound similar....anyhoo....squash is delicious...seraphic...again..the drama continues...

As always, I appreciate your undivided attention for a minute or two as you visit...check out what mischief in which we have been involved...I'm sure I lost you right after that snap-shot of my odometer...tisk-tisk..we do party like rock stars over here on the west side..shhh...little known secret...I may need to whip out my cape and such...tee-hee...remember, do not underestimate the power of squash...it is delectible...like lots of things...hmmm..Most importantly, remember...it's all about the Benjamins...and not necessarily of the Franklin variety...winkety-wink, my friends...We'll see you all tomorrow...I'm holding my breath..so please come back!!

It's on like Donkey Kong....

Yup...Thank you, Ice Cube..and not the ones currently chillin' in my freezer...tisk-tisk..Another winkety-wink Wednesday...filled with automobile photography..we had our weekly luncheon..which meant another trip into the big city!  We only slightly got lost, briefly...for a few minutes...so that doesn't really count...well, that could be a lie OR it could be carefully edited truth, hmmmmm??????

"Ya know, Mama...I'm not saying it was your fault..I'm merely blaming you...hahahahahahahhaa"

We did venture over to the east side...the north east..I have a little bit of trouble over there...it involves freeways and complicated things...again WIP...however, I did manage to snap a photo or two, while I was driving..I continue to improve...lucky for all of you I am the master of multi-tasking!  hahahahaha.

Downtown shot from I-5 as I was about to merge onto the exit for the airport...Now, I usually can get somewhere, it is the return home that is the problem...and not a bad shot considering that merge is a little sticky...the person behind me, I am rather certain, hates my guts...you get the picture...

My oasis...the Burnside Bridge..I know how to get home from here...once I reached MLK...and found this bridge...all was A-OK!

"Well, Mama...ya gotta remember to laugh at your problems...everyone else does!"

She gets worse each day..and the last thing I want to do is hurt her...but it's still on my list...tisk-tisk...Aside from our weekly gossiping adventure, there was cooking!  Soup..today was a perfect day for soup..It was cold, windy, rainy..However, not the ideal day to own a pet whom needs to be walked...nope...So we made Broccoli Cheese Soup..if you were a curious kinda individual...perhaps you are...The early bird might get the worm, but the SECOND mouse gets the cheese...hmmm...tee-hee...

Cream, cheese, butter, onion, garlic, nutmeg, broccoli and stock...please don't judge for the purchased stock..it is against my religion, however I was out...it's a weekday...I have a full-time job...you understand, I hope...I'll make it up to you, I promise!  For reals and such...

Saute onions and garlic in butter....then add a little flour and roux it up, so to speak...

Continue by adding your cream and broccoli...and simmer away..shake bootie, too...grab that wand...and your gigantic pencil, if you are currently in possession of one...only lucky people own those..just sayin'....

Broccoli is beautiful and delicious, too...shhh....

Isn't this a grate photo??????  I have such sharp wit...so I shall quit...Just dont get feta-p with me...Could I possibly milk this any longer????  I am a pun meunster....Nor am I one to brie-ze past an opportunity for a pun...Nah...my work here is done...hahahahaha...Like I told Jersey Boy...once you cross that continental divide...appreciation of puns is required...tee-hee...

"Mama...did you KNOW that Haikus are easy.  But sometimes they don't make sense.  Microwave!  Hahahahahahahaha"

Alright..alright..what just happened????  Shall we get back to our soup...this is surely a digression of eric..um, I mean epic proportions...It's one consonant away....EASY mistake...a mere key stroke!...well..um, yeah...anyway..our soup!

Add your greatly, grated cheese...yup...allow to melt..meld...combine...

associate...bind...blend..bond..conjoin...cooperate..fuse...synthesize..

network..I'm done...for reals...

The Almost-soup...as it finishes the cooking process and prior to visiting Bob, the blender...it was super-excited...as was Bob...they don't get out much either...can you sense a pattern????  tee-hee...

Amalgamate...incorporate...integrate...interface...again, I'll stop...

"By the way, Mama...did you know that good girls are bad girls that never get caught???"  Hahahaha...yea, I totally did, Eves...yup....

Broccoli-cheese soup...in a bread bowl...topped with cheese...there IS no such thing as too much cheese..nope..I read that on The Google..

The soup was comforting...it warmed one's soul...it made one forget about the rain and the wind, if only for five minutes...quite tasty...hardly low-cal, in case you cared..and because of that, I will NOT be having a peanut butter milkshake, although I truly would kill for one....Remember...some mistakes are too much fun to make only once, and I am a perfect example...tisk-tisk...Always move forward...going straight will get you nowhere...make soup..zero regrets...While you've not really had the time of your life, I hope you will join us tomorrow..we'll be here...I almost feel the need to apologize..tee-hee...