Learning the Hard Way....

Yup...it has been a rather interesting and looooong year, my internet friends...We have learned quite a bit...the hard way, no doubt...the educational results of these 'lessons' have developed from the process of living life and the perspectives gained are a result of trial and error....mostly error...more often in reference to the mistakes, mis-steps and misunderstandings...of which, should lead to better judgment...I emphasize should...so basically, we shall be WIP's for all eternity...you've been warned...my final holiday gift..

So whatcha think about that, Eves????  "Oh, Mama...NO Hablo Ingles!  hahahahahahahaha...shhhhh..I really do love that Bowling for Soup..."

Her sass never ceases to amaze...but I shall move along..we did quite a bit today..cooking wise..that was about it..we made red velvet mini-cupcakes with cream cheese icing and totchos..with homemade tots!  Good times never, ever cease over here on the west side..we do know how to roll and such..and even rock at times..it depends on the weather..tisk-tisk...

Red Velvet Cupcake Components: Sugar, Flour, Butter, Unsweetened Cocoa, Baking Soda, Buttermilk, Butter, Vanilla and Red Food Coloring..oh, and two eggs..I was THISCLOSE to forgetting those stinking eggs..whew for us all I eventually remembered...jeesh..

Mix everything up...I included this merely because it was one of my few 'action' shots..and the fact I could hold a mixer and a camera at the same time..and actually snap a photo..well, that's total and absolute victory in my hoot-owl notebook...I've set the bar pretty low at this point..can ya tell???

The mixed batter...isn't it sooooo pretty and red and bright and pulchritudinous...sublime even..like rhyme...

Pour your batter into a greased muffin tin..I used one of the mini variety...I have a proclivity for little things...sorry...you should know that by now!

Bake at 350 degrees 25-30 minutes then cool on a wire rack...

So Eves...whatcha think about those red velvet cupcakes??  Do they look good to you???  "Oh, Mama...NO Hablo Ingles!  Hahahahahahaha.."

Moving along...Cream Cheese Frosting Components: Powdered Sugar, Butter, Cream Cheese and Vanilla..

Again...I have a soft spot for these alleged 'action' shots..so this one was included as well...I will provide a smidgen of advice this evening...once you are done using the mixer...do NOT put it in the sink before you unplug it...apparently electrical appliances and water don't really mix...oops..no pun intended either...Yikes!!  tisk-tisk..

Our Final Cupcakes...It's most unfortunate that red quality is not maintained after the baking process...I can't figure it out..but they really tasted delicious...currently they look like chocolate cupcakes..which is just fine...but still...

So, my Sweet Pea...how's that cream cheese icing treatin' ya???  "Um, Mama...NO Hablo Ingles...hahahahahahahaha.."

Now that we have covered the sweet portion of our evening...it's time to get down to the salty part..our totchos...tater-tot nachos...what could possibly be better..hmmm..well, lots and lots of things, I suppose..but we'll just move along...

 

Totchos Components:  Ground Beef, Onion, Olives, Cheddar Cheese, Guacamole, Salsa, Taco Seasoning (which consists of garlic and onion powder, chili powder, paprika and cumin), and Jalapeno...

Yes, yes and YES...the MOST exciting part of the evening my chickadees!!!  The mincing and bootie shaking..would you want to end your year any other way...as I have proclaimed for the past six months...the World Tour 2005 will rock on FOREVER...and Puck and Darren, too..I shall raise my glass to that sweet caroline any day of the week and twice on Sunday..fo' sho'  Can't keep my hands off you!...They cause knees to become weak...hearts to melt...butterflies to flutter....ughhhhhhhh..

OMG..where were we..oops..so sorry...anyhoo...brown your ground beef and add the taco seasoning you made earlier...FOCUS people..FOCUS.....tisk-tisk...I'm the poster-child for focusing..I never stray..nope..not ever..I've got a one track mind...and it is totally about cute boys..um, I mean food!  Yup!  Food..

Time to make cheese sauce!  Equal parts flour and butter to make a roux...whisk in some cream..Again, this is an action shot..we're up to three this evening, which is a rare event..but this is a rare blog in the fact it is SO long..It's a lot like Waterworld...only worse....and that movie was soooo bad!  Over two hours of melted polar ice caps and mutated mariner fights...what WAS Kevin Costner thinking????  hahahahahaha

Grate Cheddar Cheese and add to the roux...Cheese is distinguished and exceptional...FYI...hahahahaha..no, it is...I just really had a hard time not using my lame pun right about now..

Cheese Sauce...super yum...looks similar to that cheese sauce they have at the 7-11...but this is real cheese...in case you were wondering...and it won't eat the paint off of your car..

Homemade Tots Components: Mashed Potatoes, Egg, Flour, Panko and Oil

Mix your egg, flour and mashed potatoes...coat with Panko bread crumbs...they surely will need a little cowbell...of the Will Farrel and East Jesus Nowhere variety...that truly is one of the funniest things I have ever seen...Will is my hero...and it is an excellent chair dancing song IMHO, of course..well, and he does make an awesome Robert Goulet...

Deep fry your tots in oil..It will be greasy..It will stink up your apartment...It will stink up the entire floor of your apartment building..It will create a gigantic mess...but it IS worth every minute of your time..these were SO delicious!

Deep Fried Tots!  Paradise...I dream of Paradise..

So, my dear, precious E.V....what do you think about tots???  "Mama, NO Hablo Ingles!  Hahahahahaahaha..."

And just when you thought this would never end..it has...with a bang, no doubt...I guess if I'm not going to, at least my meal can..tisk-tisk...

Totchos...tots, ground beef, cheese, salsa, sour cream, olives, onions, guacamole, jalapenos and lime...YUM...

That's what a gal has in Portlandia on a New Year's Eve...treats and tots..it IS the west side..so..you know how that goes and such..I suppose we shall embrace and look forward to what 2012 has to offer...Put your faith in a miracle that it will be different, I suppose...but we should close by reflecting upon and highlighting the important life lessons learned this year..and we had a plethora..as we are a walking disaster..um..let me see...acronyms are the bee's knees...as are boots and sassy gals..and knee socks..oh, hot liquids in a blender will explode all over your kitchen...never, ever..under any circumstance stand on a swivel chair...electrical appliances and water are a poor combination...be sure and know whom it is you are texting before you hit send...the song DOT rocks, as does All....always have a contingency plan...never wear flip flops in the mud...your world will never be the same without a chainsaw juggler...the apple does not fall far from the tree, and that's an awesome thing...martinis never disappoint...anything purchased from a Houston-based Funtastic Toy company brings nothing but disappointment and regret...much like all guys under the age of thirty....so it's pretty much the same song, different chorus...oh, and NO Hablo Ingles!!  Happy New Year, my interweb friends...make totchos..and cupcakes..or anything for that matter..cooking is a hoot!  And get a tattoo!!  G'night!  See ya next year!!!