Quantum LEAP year...

Ah, yes...leap year..once every four years we are fortunate enough to have an extra 24 hours...a time to enjoy this craptacular year just a tad bit longer!  However, we are not bouning..dancing.. or springing anywhere...But the day, well, it's been on my mind I couldn't help it..I have zero idea why..AND I had an entire arsenal of leap day jokes I wrote down in my hoot-owl notebook...then I contemplated...reflected, even..yeah..I did all of that on a Wednesday..then decided it would be best to keep most of those to myself..you are subjected to enough pain..suffering, perhaps...Again, as I have always professed...those two followers I do have, I'll take care of you...look out for you..do what is in your best interest...merely because I am kind...hahahahahaha... We have returned...to be honest, Monday I just blew off the blog...not the greatest idea, but it was a long day..and I wasn't all that hungry..and last night...well, um..I had, an, um..date..yup!!!  Who KNEW CPA's could be soooo much fun...well, that and cute?????  And I deal with a lot of accountants..so it was interesting...now, he wasn't as cute as the guy I met on the airplane..but, still..we did have fun...and I can totally blog about it because I can!  And, BTW..we're going out again on Friday..yup... Where were we????  Oh, yes...leap day..I feel as though I am an alternate universe..I had a ghetto conference call today, too..

"Oh, Mama..I love it when the boss can't figure out how to use the conference-call button on his land-line...proceeds to make the call, then calls you on his cell phone..and places both calls on speaker phone...THAT is one for the urban dictionary...IMHO, of course...Oh, and uber professional, too!!"

Again...I have lost all track of anything...where is my hoot-owl notebook..????  This evening's meal will cause heartburn...which is not nearly as bad as heartbreak...but it feels just as bad, IMHO...Pupusas de queso with shredded pork and curtido..Yeah, I wanted to be all fancy-pants just because...basically cheese stuffed tortillas with pork and pickled cabbage..however I thought the previous description possessed a little more enthusiasm and eagerness...it was a tad more stirring..adventurous...an ideal way to celebrate this extra day which we have been handed...We can set the world on fire...it'll be Fun..hahahahhaha...get it?????

Pork Tenderloin, Cumin, Oregano and Garlic..I used a bit of oil...not of the olive variety because I am out and keep forgetting to replace, so....canola, I think..but just a bit...

Season the pork and roast in the oven for approximately 25 minutes...400 degrees....I really wish I knew where the shortcut was for the degree symbol on my keyboard....WIP...yup...

Allow your roasted pork to cool slightly and shred....it shall soon become long, irregular strips of meat..that's a good thing!!

"Speaking of shredding, Mama...wanna hear an Enron Joke?????  You may have to 'Lay' down for it...'Ken' you take it???   hahahahahahahahaha..I jest....Dick Cheney has got it covered...he knows all of those unnamed people from those unspecified companies and they meet at an undisclosed location...he's good at clearing things up!!!  That's why HE is first in line to get into heaven...he's a giver...hahahahahhahahahah..."

Speaking of confetti...hahhaha...our pickled cabbage...I was too lazy to shred cabbage...so, I cheated..that stuff in the bag isn't all too bad...add vinegar, cumin, salt, pepper, oregano, sugar and minced jalapeno...

Slaw components....remember...wash your hands after you have minced the jalapeno...and, whatever you do...don't touch your eyes...again, I speak from experience...

"I'm still writing March 1st on all of my checks!!!  This day last year, it wasn't..and we had four years to prepare!!!  Epic failure!!!"  hahahahhahahaha

Pupusas components...Masa, cheese and H20...

Allow the action shots to commence....and lightning man...he was dying for a minor plug in the blog...one cup masa...in a bowl..it's summer paradise..just ask Pierre...

Our soul is not yet broken...so we added 1/2 cup H20...mix..stir..shake things up...combine...I remember...was I dreaming...now you're not next to me and I am freezing...I hope this is not wishful thinking...SO..yeah..pupusas...they're on our agenda...I always stick with that...yup...

Roll out the dough...now..when I was in Belize, there were these ladies whom could make 100 of these an hour...and right before your eyes is 45 minutes of my time...consider yourself lucky that ghetto cam is sooo ghetto...I managed to make two..yup..two..AND if my walls could talk..well, um...yeah...shall we say there is an art to this step...one I do not possess...these pupusas are quite similar to sopes...without the cheese filling...but I don't really make a great sope, either...shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....AND don't even think about trying to shake any type of bootie..your head will explode...again..I speak from experience...

Place cheddar and cojita cheese in-between your masa thingies....press to seal...and fry..I did have a few photos of the frying process...but, again, ghetto cam did disappoint...so...anywho....brown/fry a few minutes on each side...

"Oh, Mama...Why did the chicken cross the basketball court???  He heard the referee calling fowls!  hahahahahhahahahahahhahahaha"

Pupusas de queso with pork and curtido..version #1...

Pupusas de queso with pork and curtido...version #2...

It was rather tasty...and I enjoyed both versions of the photo..but I am an indecisive kinda gal...this was an unexpected surprise for a Wednesday night...much like CPA's...hmmmmm...oh, and cute guys on airplanes...maybe I should move back to PA..hahahahhahaha..JK.....Something one might need to ponder...tisk-tisk..enjoy today, as it is technically a free day....and it's lame..and it should be a paid holiday...simply because there really should be only 28 days this month..and I am not liking this...not one bit..but my rant has ended..As has this blog...you can breathe a gigantic sigh of relief...I feel your pain...I'm living it..yup...living the dream..hahahahahhaha..G'night...take me back..take me back...I'm trying to lift myself above these clouds..but it is an arduous task...someday...we'll be normal..maybe..and not a castaway...hahahahahhaa...I just HAD to squeeze a little Green Day in there..it was the American thing to do... ;-)

Carry Me Home...

No..for reals...or at least carry me to my couch and such..I flipped over the dishwasher door..again..and now ghetto cam is is really bad shape...in addition to me..but I have about 1/16th of visible screen space on the view-finder thingy of my camera...that last launch/crash we made into the wall...well..I am rather certain neither one of us can take another hit...I don't think they sell extra Lesleys at the Best Buy...although they should!!  hahahahaha...I jest.....BUT, really,  how important is your right leg, in the grand scheme of things...?????  At least the Best Buy does sell cameras...

"Oh, Mama...the things I witnessed this evening will require years and years..no, wait, eons of therapy...just so you know...yikes!!!!!  Can I please go live with Chuck...pretty please...."

"And the fact you tried to make up for this fiasco by allowing me full access to the dishwasher...well, it's not working...I'm covered in flour!  And those sharp objects easily within my reach...do you lack the common sense gene, Mama????"

Where were we...the unfortunate dishwasher door incident sort of threw things off..in addition to my body...so, um...yeah..I did cook...it may be one of the last documented incidents until we replace ghetto cam...but, I ended up with a TON of pics...YAY for you..again, it prolly is your lucky night and you should buy a Powerball ticket or something...tonight we are young, and injured..however we almost set the apartment on fire as opposed to the world...is there a difference????  Is that less cool than the world???  Is there a protocol for these types of situations...someone just show up..I'll feel way better...Oh, and dinner...cauliflower fritters with horseradish cream, pan-seared tenderloin with mushrooms, shallots, garlic and herbs..And ghetto cam is going out with a bang...yup...that IS how we roll and crash over here on the west side...well, I roll after I crash...it avoids cranial injuries..again, trust me on this one..I have learned the hard way..tisk-tisk...

Cauliflower Components: Cauliflower, herbs, egg, garlic, oil and flour...

Add oil to your cauliflower..toss with salt and pepper...

Roast on a pan at 500 degrees for 10-15 minutes..until golden...

Roasted Cauliflower....

three guesses, and the first two do not count as to what we did while this roasted..take me back...take me back....to Summer Paradise..ahhhh..Pierre...please take me with you...I did ask nicely...I can't believe...I don't know what I'm gonna do...someday..yup..someday...I will find my way...to Billie Joe AND Blaine..and...yeah..I shall stop..

Anyhoo..proceed to mash the roasted cauliflower...add minced garlic...with ginormous man-hands...would you have it any other way????  Nope..didn't think so..

Add minced herbs and parsley....and parsley I think is an herb...I have no strength to check out The Google...but it is always sold separately...the good part of anything is always sold separately, is it not????...that's just lame...I could site a multitude of examples...but, for reals....wouldn't it be better if I just let this one go...and move along...yeah,, I thought you would concur...

Add egg to your minced herbs, mashed cauliflower and garlic....we are getting SO much closer....

Add flour...zero regrets...flour does special things...again, if I had the time or the energy, I would explain...

"Well, Mama..doesn't the flour establish a consisency which allows for the formation of perfect cauliflower fritters????  It's the fusion...I suspect it is something scientific..but it is a Sunday night...and I am tired...my job here is finished...well, almost...Where's that yummy list of boys???????"

Deep fry the cauliflower fritters in oil...A few minutes per side...

The finished fritters...that, too, could be the name of a band...kinda like the Fennel Fronds...it's THAT catchy...perhaps, one day, the Finished Fritters will open for the Fennel Fronds...ah, to sleep....perchance to dream...thank YOU Hamlet....although, in death's sleep who knows what kind of dreams might come....To be, or not to be..that is the question...

O, 'tis too true!!!  O heavy burden!!!  We need to make our steak...as it 'tis not nobler in the mind...we want no one to suffer...as you have suffered enough...hahahahahaha

Red Wine, Shallot, Garlic, Mushrooms, Herbs and Sherry..

Sear your steak, two and two..those photos did not turn out as expected...again, I blame the most unfortunate 'acrobatic' incident involving myself and the dishwasher door  and ghetto cam earlier this evening..proceed to remove and allow to rest..then saute garlic and shallots...here are the ginormous man hands adding shallots...That is the question- whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer...you're suffering, no??????

Add quartered crimini mushrooms and saute...saute away...

Horseradish cream sauce...there was no documentation of this formation...it was difficult and boring and, yeah..I am nice!!!  Add mayo, horseradish, cream and sour cream...um..and yum...like...well, where is that cute boy list???????

"No worries, Mama...I know the dishwasher is broken..I'll take care of everything...I'm the president of the clean plate club..I'll clean up all of this....have no fear....."

The final dinner..Cauliflower Fritters with Horseradish Cream, Pan-Seared Beef Tenderloin with Mushrooms, Shallots and Garlic..

I liked that the beef was on the verge of still mooing..it was delish...I had an issue or two..or three...or six hundred with the plating...

Well, my internet friends...this was one of my more longer blogs, and it shocked even me...and it does take quite a bit to shock me...and considering the bodily injuries and camera injuries..I never quite imagined this blog would come to fruition, and be THIS LONG...thankfully it did...Again, ghetto cam is prepared to go out with a bang..I can't...Multnomah county won't allow such things..hahahahahahah...I am KIDDING...totally kidding...It's been a long night..I'm tired....we were never gonna say goodbye...tell me how to get back...my soul is broken...in addition to my right leg...those stinking dishwasher doors...they should be illegal!!!  G'night...We'll return tomorrow...I suspect...I did double-check our social calendar..LUCKY YOU!!  ;-)

Marching Out of Time.....

AND I do reference a Green Day song...I do hope you all were seated for that revelation...as I never, ever, ever refer to Green Day...as a matter of fact..never heard of them...hahahhahahaha...I am KIDDING....and my title would have been more apropos for next month, but I am an impatient kinda gal..in case you haven't noticed...oh, and I want to be the minority...I don't need your authority...I pledge allegiance...one nation under dog...For crying out loud...I'm merely running out of material...don't even get me started....

"For reals, Mama...isn't this a food blog???  Not a ramble on and on kinda blog...how 'bout we get this show on the road...I'm not gettin' any younger....."  Cats..pfft....ginormous crab-heads, IMHO, of course...and they don't belong on counters...nor do they belong near my beloved fittens....the nerve!!!!!

"Oh, Mama...I concur...this cat situation...it scares me...can I PLEASE go live with Chuck????  He IS on the 4th floor AND he is the only one around here whom seems to possess any sort of common sense...PLEASE...I'll bet if I take him some more Glee Valentine's he will surely take me in..hahahahahahahaha...

Oh, my dear goodness...we're here to cook..where was I????  It's this marching out of time..it throws me way off..yup...shhh...AND for a Friday evening...with two gals alone in an apartment....we did not create anything all too spectacular...again, I tend to disappoint...but it was cold..and the rain showed up...and I really just wanted soup...and I have an entire hoot-owl notebook filled with excuses...do you have the time??  I do!!  BUT, who does not look forward to a soul warming pot full of goodness..as that is what we do have over here on the west side...that was merely an embellishment...an overstatement...an exaggeration...simply we had short-rib stew with egg noodles..however, I do prefer the soul warming story..it sounds much fancier...will someone just please take me back to summer paradise...please...I implore you...and I do feel like falling down...where is my CSJ to carry me home????????  Ah, ehem...moving along...dinner!!!!!

Beef Stock in an integral part of the meal...well, the main part, actually...and we had to make some....it consisted of two short ribs, onion, garlic, carrots, red wine, potatoes, thyme and sherry...SEE...I made zero thyme jokes...I really coudn't...well, because, I was short on time..hahahahahah..get it?????  short ribs and thyme..it was like a compound joke!  Alright, I personally almost fell off of my chair, but again, as I have professed on numerous occasions...it is only I whom finds myself funny...so...no worries...acceptance is the first step, is it not????

Allow the above to simmer for an hour or two...again...I lost track of time..and that's not all I lost...but, I shall spare you the deets...I really know you don't wanna hear all about it...it's totes cringe-worthy...and it makes those little hairs on the back of your neck stand up...yeah....I tried...BUT, you do have a delicious stock!!!  Zero sodium...and it's all organic...we need to look on the brightside..speaking of which..where IS Mr. Brightside..that Brandon...and that song....speaking of yum and um....and triple yum...It was only a kiss...just ask that cute guy from the plane ;-)

We're gonna make our own pasta!  Heck, why not...we had the appropriate flour..the time..(tisk-tisk) and all of the other ingredients...not to mention, it is way better for you than something that comes in a box or any sort of package...Semolina flour, salt and an egg...of the brown variety..it was from a free range chicken...I knew that would make your evening...it did mine..hahahahaha...not really...

Man Hand Time!!! or MHT in the world of acronym!!!  Check out how I totes CRUSHED that egg!!!!!!  One-handed, even!!!!!  A feat so awesome, it required 17 exclamation points....speaking of which, has my point been made????  Or will this paragraph require more punctuation??  I'm a curious kinda gal..in case you wondered...and I do aim to please...ask anyone!!  hahahahahhaha....

Combine your flour and egg and salt...and create a little ball of dough..It sorta looks like a planet, no?????  Perhaps surrounded by pixie dust....

Roll out the dough and cut into noodle pieces....I used a rolling pin, but it appears to be missing from this picture...it was around..trust me...

Dry your pasta on a rack...and reflect on the past...nah..hahahahahhaa...what you really wanna do is shake some bootie...we rediscovered Good Charlotte..OMG..the Anthem...Joel Madden, it breaks my heart you are married...we'll leave it on that note...it's the little things...and where is my motivation proclamation???  hahahahahaha...

"My, Mama...are you serious????  You should look on Mr. Brightside...destiny is calling...you need to open up your eyes...I am here to help...perhaps we should have a little talk...tee-hee...."

Moving on to the creation of our soup..Lightning man NEEDED to make an appearance...isn't he awesome???  Add onions to the pan..we're getting closer to the soup...hang in there, my friends...

Add Carrots!!!

Then...are you seated????  Add potatoes!!!!

Add stock...and I DID have a photo of that...but ghetto cam ate it..yup..I totes blame ghetto cam...regardless...add your stock and bring to a boil..simmer for a bit, then proceed to add you egg noodles...I really wish I could find that photo.....

Asparagus..it is a rather under-rated vegetable, IMHO, of course...but it does go well with beef stew, tastes delish, adds color and is one herbaceous perennial that you would want in your soup....it is rich in the amino acid asparagine...not just a coincidence, either!

Beef Stew Photograph #1

Beef Stew Photograph #2

I have two shots of my stew or soup or whatever it technically might be...I was rather indecisive this evening..but that rarely happens, so please humor me...It truly was a soul warming pot full of goodness...I did hope for somthing a little more fancy for a Friday night..but we did venture into the big city today..No Po to be exact...AND I got lost...see, I am super nice...I spared you the details of my 45 minute journey into the great abyss...go make some stew...rediscover Good Charlotte..channel Green Day AND remember Simple Plan..I'm on a roll tonight..it's a new day but it all feels old...prolly 'cause I am!  hahahahahahahah..no, seriously I am...I don't ever wanna...I don't ever wanna be part of the crowd.....Ah, g'night my internet friends...