Mullets....

I have tried and tried..to work the mullet into this blog..merely because I was driving down Barbur and saw a 'gentleman' sporting one...however, I am not one to point fingers..early '80's we ALL had them..those school pictures with the psychedelic lighting..yup...we did...run AND hide...and burn the photos...but I DID have a point....we are ALL about business tonight..in the front..no partying..tee-hee..nope...

"So, Mama..did you know that those that reside from New Jersey are inclined to own rather large pencils..much like your giant green pencil?!?!?  Simply stating the obvious and such....Oh, and they are kinda, sorta cute, too..shhh......."

Yeah...yeah...ya, know....we never really grow up...we only learn how to act in public..hahahhahaha...And we did cook some food...I have made it my goal to focus this evening....wholeheartedly...which IS a word..my chickadee!  Distractions...jeesh...and ugh...and oh, dear...

"I'm all about business, Mama...you'll miss me when I'm gone...BTW..not to be coy...however, wasn't there a boy...???  Merely curious..It is my nature...I must take after you!  Again, the dog days are over!"

Alright...alright already...chorizo enchiladas with red sauce and crispy potatoes...absolute and complete heartburn..yup..and ugh....shall the disaster commence...

Enchilada sauce....Salsa, tomato sauce, garlic, chicken stock, garlic and a mixture of cayenne, paprika, oregano, basil, parsley, cumin, chili powder and.well..that's it!

It does require the chopping of vegetables.....no fingers...so it was a GOOD night!

You were forewarned...it's been slow, I've been lax...I am NOT about to let you down...it's all about the play by play...I blame, um...I know the answer....hmmmm...

Begin with a pan...not of the flute variety...just a pan...play a little music..grab a wand..it will behoove you..fo'sho'!

Brown onions and garlic in butter and olive oil..for just a bit...not too long...you have other things to do....yup...

You then add your sauce, herbs and such..no regrets!

We shall move along...proceed to fry up the chorizo...unphotogenic...sorry...so we will be minus a step in this equation...no worries..you WILL survive..and I shall survive..hahahaha....

Shred some cheese....again...that was on our agenda..we DID have one of those...an agenda, of course....

Colby Jack...Wiggety-whack!  And Smack!  Can't beat that!  Fo'Sho'!

Proceed to drench your tortilla in the sauce..it IS only right....

IT WILL stick on the frontal of your left side brain..in case you wondered...when we collide, of course....

Shall we move along..the chorizo...it has been neglected and yearns to be united with colby jack cheese...destiny...fate, one might say....

It blows your mind...my sweet moonbeam..yup...and totally...like residents of the Garden State one might even say...

To accompany the enchiladas, we had crispy potatoes with peppers and onions...

No introduction necessary...at least I don't beleive there should be one..if you disagree..see me after class...hahahhahah...

These components needed to be cooked..in nothing other than THE...SKILLET OF JUSTICE....yup...lucky evening for the Lone Foodie, no doubt....

Eventually, they finished cooking..hard to believe, I know!   Utter and complete chaos here over on the west side...I'll never sleep....

Weird and awesome photo...Do NOT ask me how I did this...However, I LOVE it!

Again..I have worked and worked on my focusing..it has improved...dinner was delicious...chorizo and Mexican crema are my NEW favorite foods..yup....although the heartburn...makes me want to cry..shhhhh...plating a tad sketchy...and hideous...

Ba...dum...ba....Happiness....Briefly...Isn't happiness always brief???  Simply an observation....

I would have been happier with a better plating...and less heartburn...however I AM fickle...I now have afflictions for others...but, again, I feel it is necessary to be a tad coy..about boys...and whether or not I am smitten..although I will continue to wear my fittens...good night my chickadees!  It is NOT over....nope and yup....ambiguity...it is TOTALLY my new thing!  hahhahah..sweet dreams!

The Garden State....

Hmmm...yes...yet another Monday.  While we are on the topic, if all Mondays could start in the same glorious fashion as mine...I would want every day to be a Monday!  And they say nothing good comes out of The Garden State...pshaw...so not true...I may or may not have read that on The Google..

"Hey, Mama...the horses are coming...so you'd better run!

She was rather wound up this evening...and hungry...up until tonight..we have lived merely on pumpkin scones..we ended up going out last night....actually left the apartment...yup...allow the coyness to ensue...perhaps boys and such..again, confirmation is not feasible or probable at this point..

"Oh, Mama..focus, please!  Take a deep breath and focus...we have much to cover this evening...two days for which we need to make up...and, while you're at it, perhaps you should think about wearing some!  I see crow's feet!..."  Ugh...hahahahahahaha..

Her sass continues to increase...and is much more frequent...I blame the weather...and daylight saving time...it's been a little chilly...SO, time to debut the greatest boots in the world..yes..quite possibly THE best boots on the planet...I am not exaggerating...they are..for reals!  Quite appropriate for the weather...

Blue and Fuzzy!!  Can one even comprehend a better combination???  I didn't think so..They were a big hit at the wall..everyone wants a pair...just like my fittens..trendsetter!  hahahahahahaha...not really...now THAT was purely and utterly an embellishment...funny, though..

Not even remotely funny...I blame exhaustion and excitement and a former resident of The Garden State...and chair dancing..and Florence +  The Machine..oh, and that 2005 world tour, of which I shall not mention...Yeah, laundry lady next door dislikes that...I believe that's why she continues to incessantly do laundry..and I have yet to comprehend why it irritates me so...but, for reals...she must wash each article of clothing individually...Ya, know..I do probably spend way tooo much time here...I have a proclivity for pondering such odd things...

"Hey, Mama...You got a problem with that?!?!?!? "  She is quite the wisegal!  However, she does know how to have a good time...tisk-tisk...

Again..we have gotten way off track...way off the beaten path...can we ever find our way back to sanity...or the world of cooking..hmmm...perhaps you should get back to me on that one..nah, allow the cooking to commence...not without a little Darren Chriss first...shhhh..and bootie shaking...grab your wand!  No regrets...nope...and yup....the ambiguity continues here on the west side..west-siders do roll in that manner...it's in the water...again, I read that on The Google..

Pork tenderloin, roasted and smashed yams with blue cheese and candied hazelnuts and mixed greens...plating wise, sheer and utter disappointment..although..it was pretty tasty..however..things did look much better last night..no worries or complaints, though. ..worth every last second!  every last one...

One lowly yam, for little, old me..literally...cream, blue cheese, cream cheese and hazelnuts..hmmm...rather delicious!  Make this for Thanksgiving!  Much better than the traditional yam and marshmallows...I do not lie and I speak from experience..

Toast your hazelnuts in some sugar..with a little water...relatively easy and rather tasty...

Get back to me next spring...when we spring forward...it's going to be a long winter...hahahahah...seriously, it is...this lighting..ugh...

I did have photographs of the roasted yam...which was in the oven for an hour or so, and once cooled, I mashed and added the cream cheese and cream...probably one of the least exciting things you would ever see...so...I am not posting the photo..  I will share a picture of the tenderloin prior to searing and roasting...it's just like one of those bad family photos from the '80's you want to forget...but...I am a giving and sharing kinda gal..so...allow the poor photos to commence, again, I suffer...you suffer...

Wrapped in pepper bacon...seared and then roasted..however..that was Sunday..as of Monday, they were thinly sliced and the bacon was a distant memory...long story..

SO, I really thought I had more prep photos...for reals...hmmm...this ability to pay attention..hmmm...New Jersey can do that to a gal, I suppose...so...our final meal..again, lack of garnish is giving me nighmares...

Pork tenderloin, yams and greens...now, I only had the greens because they were borderline questionable and would not last another day in the refrigerator...and I can't remember the last time I consumed a vegetable...I felt it was in my best interest...interesting, no?????  Like me!  hahahahha

Well....as always, I thank you for your patience..and the fact you survived this blog..considering it was two days in the making...and yet sorta, kinda not what I wanted in the presentation department   It was delicious...like those from The Garden State..on the east side and such...culprits of distractions..we're off...there is some chair dancing to which we need to attend....a wand calling my name..and I am tired...goodnight, my friends...roll away your stone!

Scone Booth...

Tonight's blog is going to be lame.  Yup...forewarning to all...so run and hide..forget you ever heard my name if you wish.  My meal..disaster...my internet connection..sketchy...however, Florence + the Machine = awesome!  I STILL LOVE the You Tube...surely, the laundry lady whom resides next door hates my guts...but..I've moved beyond the point of caring....I will be coy, yet again...about a boy, whom perhaps maybe, kinda, sorta prevented a blog from coming about last evening.  Again..I am unable to confirm..but I did have lots and lots of fun!

"Scone...'S gone....Vroommmm!  Mama!!  hahahahahahah..However, allow me to interject..we should probably get out just a tad more...no?????"

She does have a point...Once you reach scone jokes...there is no turning back.. and things wouldn't be all that bad had my scones been perfect....or if I had found the ideal toy at the Fred Meyer...today...epic failure..yup..well, I can continue to be shy and modest...sly, perhaps..it's fun!  Like shaking bootie and wands...only a little more tangible..in a good way, no doubt.. ;-)  Where was I, anyway.. .boys..being coy...hmmm..distractions...terrible combination!  Just ask a group of scones...they will concur...without a doubt..

"So, Mama...how are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same????  Somebody's gonna lose a trailer....tisk-tisk...get it????  Swing...Swing, Mama!"

Ugh...where were we???  Being coy..and boys...OH, and hideous scones..yup...I will do my best to make this post adequate...please, do not cry...however..it is the weekend, and I had every intention of making up for my lack of post last night..much to my chagrin..I was a complete failure..oops...tomorrow, my friends..yup.in the mean time..Green Day World Tour 2005...I STILL can't get over that...I should...I've gotten over relationships quicker than that tour...sorry, fellas..hahahhaha...no offense...Yes..scones..shall we move along???

Pumpkin scones...pumpkin, sugar, egg, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, butter, vanilla, flour, baking powder..that's about it...

The cinnamon, was of the stick variety...so I was required to use my microplane zester..no complaints...Jeff got custody of the spice grinder...no worries..!  It's a total adventure...actually, every day is an adventure over here on the west side..shhh.....

Mix it all up..Have no fear..Underdog is Here!  hahahhaa...No, not really..There is no animated television dog in my kitchen..Just a real dog...who is over the top..and perhaps one that is inflatable..shhhh....!

Bake your scones...again..have no fear...425...20 minutes or so..but do NOT become distracted....this can happen..yup...totes and absolutely..

Pumpkin scones...a bunch of punks if you ask me....You can tell by lookin'....yup.....hahahaha..

All great scones require frosting of sorts...I chose the cream cheese variety....nothing like a combination of Philly and Punks...isn't Philly filled with Punks???  I could be mistaken...that tends to happen....And I'm allowed to say that...being I am a PA kinda gal....at heart....and such...hahahahah..

Cream Cheese, Vanilla, Powdered Sugar...a hand mixer...yup!

I had this 'idea' that making the frosting 'orange' would be attractive....I should never trust my judgement..it's like that one time where I thought I would look great in...um, no...we won't go there...you probably do not want to know...I continue to cringe..yup..I do...anyhooo...my weird scones...

Pumpkin scones...with cheese whiz...that's exactly what they look like!  Someone have a shovel???  Wanna dig a hole into which I can crawl..and take my scones????  Please do not judge...however, this one time I DO feel shame, and I will apologize..however, they were rather tasty...again DISTRACTIONS....hazardous to you health..and to scones..

Atypical Saturday...leading into an atypical Sunday....it's been an atypical month, if you were wondering...I suspect it has to do with boys...and being coy...and funny toys from the Fred Meyer...and rhyming...which is sublime...I have tons of time...it will tingle your spine...you'll wanna drink wine....it is all quite fine...once you are mine...we can dine..that is apropos, no??????  I shall quit while I am ahead...and will be here tomorrow..with real food..NO disasters...NO failure!  WIP, my friends..total WIP....

Coy about a Boy....

So...we're back..yup..yesterday was a rather unexpected, yet pleasant, hiatus so to speak..however, one day can not really be construed as a hiatus..embellishment..Sorry.  Can't help myself....I don't feel any shame, nor will I apologize :-)  SO, we did venture over to the east side last night...the Doug Fir...total and absolute complete hoot...I had way tooo much fun..I'm way tooo old for that sort of thing, especially on a school night...tisk-tisk...however, I'd do it again...shhhhh....worth every minute...

"Yeah, Mama...I'm calling DCS...you allowed me to stay home alone for wayyy tooo long!  Although, I DID have a party....tee-hee...there is an awfully cute dog right down the hall...just sayin'  You weren't here..so...hmmmmmm...hahahahahahha"

Yup...takes after her Mama, no????  hahahaha...We had our luncheon today, which meant we ventured into the big city..I have, however, been a little lax with my automobile photography...distractions...they do that to a gal..go figure!...WIP...yup...

Downtown!  An impromptu photo...Nah....boredom at a light..but the impromptu thing sounds way cooler, don't you think?????

I did stop by The Fred Meyer...and I have been thinking about this quite a bit...as much as I plug them...they should, at LEAST, provide a few free groceries....just sayin', again...  However, I DID find something rather awesome...

A barrel of Monkeys!  Shall we sing a carol????  They are in no peril...They are not sterile...or feral...one of them is named Darryl..shhhh...they lack apparel..they rock!  Oh, and are a hoot..in case you were curious..  I may just use them to decorate my Christmas tree...well, right after I send out my Christmas cards..hahhahaha....

Here is Darryl...Darryl Strawberry...hahahhaa..remember him...the Mets????  Sorry..that is the only Darryl whom I know..well, by name, of course..not personally..tisk-tisk...

Needless to say, I did rather enjoy my barrel of monkeys...and they are green!

"Monkey Mania, Mama!!!  Where IS my food....You blew me off last night...I need, and expect some food..."

I concur with E.V.!  I DID cook...it wasn't easy...these distractions..jeesh...and oh, my..however, I did not have chicken...can I get a WHEW???  Perhaps I was a little premature with my request, as we are having Chilean sea bass...which we have had three times in two weeks...sorry..I can't help myself...it is delicious..like, um...lots of things...oh, and the Green Day World Tour 2005!  Still, absolutely wand worthy!!  Well, that and Mumford and Sons...it's been an excellent evening..shhh....

Hazelnut crusted sea bass, coconut jasmine rice, mango cream and mango salsa...yup...that's what I did...so please, please, please do not run away...my photography is improving..failure is never an option...

Mango Salsa:  Mango, red pepper, jalapeno, basil, red onion and lime juice...I totally forgot to include the onion...he's currently crying..yup...like me..hahahha..not really...

You have an opportunity to whip out a large knife and cut stuff up to bits..shhhh..it IS fun...shake bootie...turn up the music...Darren Chriss absolutely loves this part of the evening...again, shhhh....hahahhahaha...I just know him..yup...

West Coast Choppers...Zero motorcycles were harmed for this photo...tisk-tisk...oh, and throw in a tee-hee....

As usual, these shenanigans which take place over on the west side did not prevent us from creating mango salsa...it WAS our destiny..and it WAS tasty..

Beautiful, no???  Colorful, no????  Tasty, no????  You'd better run!!  hahahahaha...

Alright...I have gotten soo caught up...The You Tube is just as bad as The Fred Meyer..oh, and those from the east coast..hmmm...distractions.....we have rice!  It does not deserve to be neglected...especially when it is so yummy...

This portion is awfully complex...do you need a moment to grab a pen...take notes, perhaps..hahahhaa..rice and coconut milk..yup..that's it...simple...easy...delicious...hahahahahah..like the Lone Foodie!  tisk-tisk..sorry..I DID try..could NOT resist....it has been a LONG week...yup....

Moving along to the star of the show, so to speak...he does not live in a pineapple under the sea...nope...sorry...but he is filled with humor, nonetheless...yup...

Hazelnuts, panko and sea bass....enough said...While you brown it on the stove...be sure and wave a wand..listen to some great music...it makes everything taste a million times better....again, I speak from experience....

"The Dog Days are over, Mama...."

Now, I did have photos of the cooking process...of course, they all sucked..WIP...did you really want to see rice cook??????  Didn't think so...it's hard enough to keep your attention at this point...so...allow me to introduce dinner...

Chilean Sea Bass, Hazelnut Panko Crust, Coconut Rice, Mango Salsa.....I wanted a cocktail with an umbrella and such..oh, and to be lying in the sand on a beach...I'm not picky...hahahah....we'll leave well enough alone...

We're all finished here this evening...yup...so you can breathe a gigantic sigh of relief...being coy about a boy..fun...shameful walking...fun...Green Day world tour 2005..fun...ones from the east ....fun...jasmine rice...fun...knee socks..fun...barrels of green monkeys..fun...wands...fun...go have fun...we'll see you tomorrow..yup..sorry...

Tuff Stuff....

Ah, yes..those that currently reside on the west side are rather 'tuff'..our life is absolutely and utterly enthralling...yup..borderline gansta, even..we're all about tuff stuff...hahaha...for reals!..just go to The Fred Meyer....they have a plethora of tuff stuff...and I happen to own the aforementioned tuff stuff....yup..lucky me!  Please, take a seat...I will show you..just a little peek, though..winkety-wink..

My new bling!  $.50..Can't go wrong..nope...Who on earth would not want one of these necklaces????  That's what I thought...even if you are not willing to admit it out loud...I KNOW...it's my sixth sense...the nose twitches...hahahaha...

"Ya, know Mama..it is SO tough over here on the west side....gun shops have "Back To School" sales....hahahahahahahha"

She is sassy and such...I have no idea from where that would come...I am very calm, and mild mannered...never say a word...tisk-tisk..it's not anti-American...it's anti-war!....Holiday...live..rocks....absolutely and undisputedly wand worthy!  Turn it up!!  Shake some bootie...you will feel a million times better....trust me, I speak from experience!

We still have our little dog-friend...I believe she may be a tad scared...she hides in the corner...I have tried and tried....I am completely certain it is not me...hahahhaha...

Don't wanna be an American idiot..one nation controlled by the media...sooo..turn off your television...yup..and go read a book!..for reals!

Where was I????  Bling...and inflatable dogs aside..I did cook...yeah, I did...I had almost forgotten..it has been an amazing and terrific day..well..aside from the work aspect..

"So, Mama....I wanna be the minority..I don't need no authority!!  That Billie Joe fella is awfully cute and such...."

Yup...shall we move along...it is getting late...I have an early start...:-)  Onion jam...polenta croutons..salad with vinagrette and steak..Shall we begin with the onion jam...I had never made it before..it turned out..surprisingly and was quite tasty...and easy..hmm....lips are zipped tonight, my friends...yup..

Onion, wine, vinegar, honey and thyme...I shall refrain from any wine or thyme jokes..although I have plenty...for the record, mind you....consider yourself lucky, I suppose...

Onion jam..in quite a pickle...hahahahah..or a jam...see..I can only resist for SOOO long...then...well, you know..allow it to all cook on the stovetop...the top of one's stove, one might say...

Final onion jam...you'll be tripin' away to paradise....hahah..that is a complete and utter embellishment...I jest..however, it was rather tasty...

Moving along...polenta croutons are on the agenda..I AM all about agendas...they are best..they keep you in line..healthy...always move forward...going straight will get you nowhere..nope...and yup...I enjoy being ambiguous..keeps you on your toes!

Yawn..and ummm..and ugh...the boring beginning of a polenta crouton...Stock...(resisting a joke here as well....), parmesan, garlic and corn meal...

Stovetop...top of the stove..and top of the mornin' , to ya, too!  ..hahahahha...whisk, shake bootie...it will behoove you to do so...I speak from experience!

Polenta croutons...baked in the oven for a bit..

I served everything with some greens and a vinaigrette..

I never anticipated this would turn out....however...greens tossed with a vinaigrette of olive oil, garlic, sherry, dijon, pepper and a little sugar..yum and um...

Meanwhile, there is a steak to cook...Chuck Woolery style..two and two, of course...

I even named him Chuck..before I sliced him into bits...for presentation purposes, of course...tisk-tisk..no reference to my super-cool neighbor on the 4th floor penthouse apartment, of course... :-)

The finale..not quite a finale, so to speak..but for an amateur..it's the best one can do on a Tuesday night, surrounded by distractions of gigantic proportions....yup...

Remember....trip your way to paradise...close your eyes..being the minority is not a bad thing...life on the west side is hardly enthralling....find 'tuff stuff' at The Fred Meyer..what part of party don't you understand...you will miss me, eventually....take a chance and don't ever look back..have I covered every single cliche???  Did I leave any out...Yeah, I did...don't put off tomorrow what you can do today...and a chain is only as strong as its weakest link..hahhahaahha...that was my point this evening...the importance of the cliche..so go use a cliche or two, or three....however, as I think...they aren't all that important...tisk-tisk..oh, my goodness me...