"You know, Mama...I don't know if I would mess with her...after all, she is friends with Godzilla, and I suspect that could cause some tension. Perhaps even bodily harm...Now taking into account you are a ninja and such and know your way around a sword, you may not be able to outwit Mothra...Where is that chainsaw juggler..I have faith in him...he could 'take care' of Mothra??" indubitably, E.V., indubitably...
AND this Mothra chick has the nerve to be hanging out in MY kitchen like she owns the place. I'm ready to go all 'Jerry Springer' on her...Seriously, the audacity of Mothra...and her intent to provoke me is just something I cannot tolerate.
"I am Mothra...and will use my special powers to slam this Lone Foodie ninja into the ground....tisk-tisk..." See, I told you she has an attitude.....SO, is there someone out there willing to come over and get rid of her, so to speak???...CSJ????? Pretty please with sugar on top....I'll even throw in a pack of Bubblicious...Otherwise, I'm just going to move... She's just too creepy...And there is not room for both of us in this apartment...
Sinister, gross, ick moths aside...we did cook...I had every intention on making salmon tonight. I even have a piece of it in my refrigerator...I just couldn't bring myself to make it tonight. I had to have chicken. I know. I know..But, I felt like it..I blame it on this spreadsheet...I can't really talk about it...but it was hideous..I was too tired to deal with my salmon...We also had squash risotto and the rest of our asparagus. Why, you may ask??? Because I felt like it!
Shall we progress to the introductions in tonight's performance...as I have been regressing quite a bit ;-) Wowsers! Remember Inspector Gadget...now he was a hoot...I know a thing or two about inspections myself... Go, go Gadget Frying Pan! Go, go Gadget Sword!
Chicken, prosciutto, cream cheese, sage and garlic.
You begin by prepping your chicken...
This evening's hot tip...Trim, rinse and pound, your chicken...As I have always professed, pounding stuff is fun...and it relieves stress...and you can't get arrested...for the most part...Well..maybe in Utah or something...
Mix together softened cream cheese, pepper and minced garlic. Then proceed to stuff it into the pocket created in the chicken...
After that has been accomplished....grab your skillet...we need to frizzle some sage and cook some chicken..fo' shizzle...
A little butter is all it takes to frizzle up a few sage pieces.
My other hot tip for this evening...when you remove your skillet of injustice from the cupboard, please be sure and drop it on your foot. It will utterly and without question make your evening. That is assured...hahahahaa. Then, while your hopping around your kitchen in pain, turn around and be sure to trip over the dishwasher door you left open so the dog could 'clean' the dirty dishes...then go on to fall over into your hall closet door. No, it hurts..and thank heavens this was my skillet of injustice..otherwise I'd probably be in the ER...nothing was damaged, really. Except for my pride, perhaps...and my hip..and my ego..and my dishwasher door..and the side of my face... But my pedicure is just fine..in case you were concerned.. That was my main concern...nothing worse than chipped toenails... Thank goodness for small favors, no???
"Oh...Mama.....You're hotter than the sun but not that bright..That's all I've gotta say right now..." She means well...
Where was I...Ah, yes...the rest of my chicken... Go, go gadget something...something has got to take me away from here in a hurry....
After you have stuffed your chicken, you place the frizzled sage atop and wrap with prosicutto...Frizzled sage is awesome...like possum..and chainsaw jugglers..
My brain feels kinda, sorta frizzled, too...I've been up since 3am...
But sage is just so pretty...and tasty...like buttons...and those that juggle chainsaws...
Visions of cooked chicken dancing in our heads....are right around the corner...Are you as excited as I???? It doesn't take much...I also blame my earlier kitchen accident..it's just something to keep in mind...
Time to brown the chicken in your skillet of injustice...
After browning, finish it off in a hot oven...400 degrees for approximately 15 minutes. It will be scorching..use caution..I speak from experience, as usual....
Shall we move along to our side...risotto...
Squash, risotto, chicken stock and parsley.
You begin by dicing up your squash...I don't know that I would use this type of squash again...I would totally do butternut squash...Go, go Gadget Knife!
Once it has been diced, you boil in water and mash into a paste sorta thingy thing...I'm all about the technical culinary terms...that's how we roll over on the west side of town...teehee...Obviously, I have been classically trained...but by the Klassy and not the Classy..hahahahahaha..I can't afford the 'C' so I will settle for the 'K.'
Add your risotto, chicken stock, a little cream...and boil away, my friends..Go, go Gadget Spatula! Where's my trench coat???...I totally want one of those...
Eventually...you have finished risotto. And because I am a total woman on the edge and edgy, one might say (I blame my new knee socks...knee socks rock!)...I threw in some peas...Yep...literally...Fortunately, I'm a good shot and most of them made it into the pan...I have a good arm...must have been all those years of softball..
Allow me to introduce....risotto....
I spared you the pain of more asparagus photos...as you just saw its preparation the other evening...I had some left over and needed to eat it up...Asparagus tips...a little oil, a little heat...there is absolutely nothing wrong with that equation...win-win situation, all around!
You then proceed to listen to 'Shut Up' by the Blood Hound Gang until you know every word...before you plate your meal...It is totally the right thing to do...again, it is my experience with these types of things...or else it was my earlier kitchen accident...hard to tell at this point.... Then write a letter to Jimmy Pop...He'd totally marry me..but again, I would expect him to beg...he is a Pennsylvania guy...I'd have an edge! After all, I am edgy...remember...tisk-tisk... And then cease daydreaming and shenanigans and such and eat!
After you have eaten, I highly recommend eating about fifteen oreos...well, no..not really. I ate that many and, well, ick....I rolled right off the wall..I felt like Humpty-Dumpty...then I rolled myself into the apartment...
"Ah, em...Mama...have you forgotten about that monstrosity in our kitchen...Mothra??? Are we getting a hotel for the evening..Where is that chainsaw juggler???? I don't feel safe..we need him..he has skills and talent.."
No hotel for us...We're tough...hahahahaha...not really. We're a bunch of wusses...We'll be hiding under the covers in the bedroom...However, we will be back tomorrow night.....I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find....like buttons! Please join us tomorrow, my friends. You will not be sorry. Nope..Not one bit!
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