Better than Food....

Yup..there are actually things that are wayyyyyyyy better than food...This coming from a gal on the west side whom cooks for a hobby...I have an official list..a list of these things which are actually better than food..it is rather extensive, if you can imagine..which leads me to the focal point of my blog this evening..FOR ONCE...it has absolutely nothing to do with food...so..you have been warned...shall you decide to escape now, I will not find any offense in your desire to flee...I would not blame you one bit..

"Shame, shame, shame..Mama...everybody knows your name!  Oh, and BTW...am I on your list of things better than food?????  I should be...for reals!!!"

Oh, my list...yeah..typically on a Friday night I would totally do something special..and I did have spectacular ideas as well as high expectations for our meal...but I became caught up...so I didn't eat...I, in no way, shape or form, condone this behavior...I just didn't have time to eat today..shall we say I 'forgot'  hahahahaha...I know of this girl whom continually forgot to eat...Regardless..my list...were we, or were we not discussing my list...of things better than food...

"On a side note, Mama..why did the girl take a ruler to bed???  She wanted to see how long she slept!  hahahahahahahahah...I totally crack myself up!"

Oh, yeah...my list...that which is better than food...hmmmm...I'm going to milk this coy-thing for all it's worth...and the list DOES include boys...of the cute variety, no doubt...and martinis and Bowling for Soup and yoga pants and the world tour 2005 and 700 thread count sheets...but most importantly....please have a seat my friends...this is a spectacular sight....I almost fainted when I opened the box...we're spending the night together..and we aren't even married..shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...I never, ever..ever do that!  hahahahahaha....

New Boots!!!  You cannot beat new boots!  Especially ones as AWESOME as these...I've been wearing them all evening....we shall be together forever..for all eternity...or until they go out of style..tisk-tisk....

Tomorrow we are shopping for a new dress....boots such as these absolutely and totally deserve a new dress...well, and I will use any excuse what-so-ever to shop for a new dress...or to listen to, um...I DO know the answer....shhhh....

"So, Mama...love the boots!!..Oh, and you gotta love that Bowling for Soup..they rock!!!"

We are so over-flowing with embellishment and innuendo and exaggeration...it is rather thick, syrupy even...but quite fun!  Not nearly as fun as my new toy...

My Knight's Axe..please try to focus...I DO realize those boots ARE a complete and utter distraction...like cute boys and cute benjamins and such....but my 'chrome plated' axe is a hoot.  The package...as you do know, I inspect these packages and such..claims I should not throw, strike at or swing at other people, animals or objects...hmmm, well..I've already done all of those things..do you think it would be possible to return this Knight Axe???  If I clean off the blood and guts and such....hahahahaha.....

Oh, and where IS my knight and shining armor..I have the axe...perfect combination, no???...I could use an axe juggler...Any willing prospects????

So...I almost did a bunch of stuff today...I almost ate...I almost rode a horse..I almost exercised...I almost did laundry...I almost called my mother..I almost had you...I was almost famous for almost a day...I almost had a super-cool blog...I do apologize, as the post was lame and included zero food...well, new boots and cute boys ARE yummy..so one can imagine they are about the equivalent, no????  Who really needs food when you have boots and boys...TOTALLY my new bumper sticker...yup..SO for reals...boots and boys..and bowling for soup...I almost forgot..but that is probably best....we shall return tomorrow..food in hand...yup...literally...try me!