MMMBop

I work for a relatively small company.  There are three employees including myself.  Once a week we have a luncheon to meet up, talk shop and gossip.  Well...mostly gossip.  But, shhhhhh....I didn't say that out loud.  Today was this week's luncheon.  We met at the Cadillac Cafe in the NE.  It was delicious!  I ate leftovers for dinner.

Blueberry pancakes and bacon.  Very scrumptious.  E.V. ate 95% of the bacon, in case you were wondering.  Oh, that, and a few pancake triangles.  She's all about leftovers!

"Hey, Mama.  You gonna eat that???  If not, I'll help you out!  It's a sin to waste!"

Eating the remainder of our lunch allowed me to venture into things other than cooking which I will address momentarily. 
Returning home from our luncheon was an unexpected undertaking.  I am horrible at getting around, and after eight years, I can do most areas relatively well except NE.  Once I finally reach the Burnside bridge I am typically free and clear.  However, today I was not so fortunate.  I blame the road construction.  It's all over the place!  Yes, City of Portland, shall we dig a large, deep hole in the middle of every street and just stare into said hole??  It makes no sense!  So, I ended up in Chinatown.  Not a scary place, but it is when you have no idea how to get out.  I pulled over to regroup, fighting back tears.  E.V. was petrified.

"Mama, I told you that you should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"  She's of no help and a horrible navigator.  That is THE last time I allow her to sit up front and assist with directions.

Somehow, we miraculously made it back to Naito Parkway and were headed home.  The feat was, in no part, due to my navigation skills.  I have zero.  But I was filled with relief.  Then while sitting at a light, a miraculous event occurred.  They played MMMBop, by Hanson, on the radio.  I was soooo excited and dumbfounded I almost ran into the vehicle in front of me.  I LOVE that song.  Sooooo 1997.  Needless to say, I immediately returned home and, thanks to the You Tube, have been listenting to it non-stop since 1pm.  If my neighbors didn't hate me already, they certainly do now.  Worst video ever...but great song!  I'd imagine they're all legal at this point.  hahahaha.  Just kidding.

"Mama.  Can you turn it down slightly?  I have a headache and it's annoying."  Again, she is rather lacking in the appreciation department.  A work in progress I might add.

Well, hearing that song made my entire day!  Absolute hoot!  However, I should get back to my point that I had from the very beginning.  I apologize for the distraction, but Hanson can do that to the best of us!  BTW...I know every word to the song now...I am available for weddings, bachelor parties and bar mitzvahs...in case you were curious!

I did not cook a meal.  I made a tri-berry coulis.  Coulis is the bomb shiggaty!  This recipe I kinda-sorta made up on my own by trial and error.  Mostly error, which is why it is near perfection at this point!

You need to begin with fresh berries (a mixture or all one kind).  Typically I use only blackberries.  Today I used strawberries, blueberries and blackberries.  I was out of control!  Again, I blame it ALL on Hanson.

Struggled with this photo....Gave it my best shot, however there is great room for improvement....

Here are the jars!  Yay for jars!  Did I just say that out loud??  They are excellent vessels for containing stuff...any sort of stuff! 

You then wash the berries and place in a pan along with sugar and some lemon juice.

Then, if you are feeling a little over-the-edge, throw in a splash..just a bit of vanilla.  It makes such a difference.  But be sure and use real vanilla.  No time for imitations!!

Yum!

You cook all until it is thick and bubbling...the amount of sugar really varies.  There are many factors such as the original tartness of your berries and your sweetness preference.  I keep the sugar handy and add a bit here and there as I go along.

The cooked berries!  I was losing daylight....I tried to hurry!!

After they have been cooked, allow to cool slightly and put them in your blender and blend away...Remeber to keep in mind, and again I say this from experience....I feel like a walking Public Service Announcement for the life-in-general-challenged...hot liquids in a blender = catastrophic disaster.  As I said, I speak from experience.  Last year I spent two hours cleaning up coulis from an extremely unfortunate incident in the kitchen.  I just wanted to sell the house....  Anyway, place a towel on top of the lid.  I've said my peace....

After the, hopefully successful, blending process you need to strain out the seeds.  This is THE WORST PART.  I hate this part the most!  And, I will interject with a little more advice, do not wear anything you'd want to wear out in public ever again.  Stains, stains and more stains!

The arduous straining process....no fun!  But totally worth it in the end!!

I ended up not canning it in a hot water bath, as my harvest only yielded two jars...when I do large batches, canning is the way to go.  It is preserved for ages!

E.V. is the only one around here not particularly fond of coulis....I tried!

"Ick.  Ick.  And double Ick, Mama....Where's that bacon??"

Here is the final product...

Bottled coulis!

It is stupendous on vanilla ice cream, creme brulee and chocolate molten lava cake.  I have none of those....but it would have made for an unforgettable finale!

"Mama...you forgot the ice cream????  How could you???  I'll be sure and sleep on the couch this evening.  What a disappointment!"

I have yet to figure out how to crop pictures, so please forgive the background.  This is Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown, not the Rich and the Famous..hahahahaha....and I have a thing for shoes.  Shhhhh...  E.V. doesn't like it when I broach the subject of shoes.  I'll keep my mouth shut..but just this once, and listen to MMMBop for the 10,433rd time.  I suggest you do the same.  It'll make your day much better.  Oh, and make coulis.  It is fantabulous!!  I don't lie about things of this nature!  We'll be here again tomorrow...please join us!