Now this person may or may not have grown up with me..may or may not be a tad younger than me...may or may not have co-hosted the holiday...may or may not be my sister...and may or may not hate my guts at this point in time...I just LOVE the ambiguity of it all...exciting...like riding in a car on one of those popular amusement park rides with the specialized railroad system which possesses inversions...
"Oh, Mama! I totally recognize her...but your 'secret' is safe with me! She is awfully nice! Why couldn't I come to dinner???? So unfair!"
Well...I had a hot date, so to speak....I'm never typically this forward, nor do I approach complete strangers at The Walgreens...however, time was running out. We were a block away from our destination and I was in desperate need of a Thanksgiving date...not my first choice..but..he was a boy...no toy as was claimed on the back of his T-shirt...but..
"The Situation" from Jersey Shore! I was immediately attracted by his impudency...who actually lifts up their shirt and directly points at their abdominal muscles???? After my hysterical laughing fit, I was able to form complete sentences and offer a formal invitation, which he did accept...whew...........hahahahahahaha
He was well received by all of the meal guests and he did make himself at home...thank heavens he didn't eat very much....however, his conversational skills were rather lacking...I don't go to the gym....I don't tan, just burn..AND, I HATE laundry! So, basically, aside from the tremendously minor physical attraction...I emphasize tremendously minor....there was nothing...
He did wait patiently for me to be seated...bonus points for that maneuver!
He then tactically placed himself off to the side...thus allowing enjoyment of the meal...I was suspicious the entire time...It was almost scheming and deceitful...can't quite explain...his skills were quite lacking BTW....however, the cashew gravy was divine!
"Goodness gracious, Mama! I'm sooo hungry...will you please talk about the food. Isn't that why we are here in the first place??? I'm really beginning not to like this Situation fella..."
Shall we focus on my contributions to this Thanksgiving feast...it consisted of three dishes...chanterelle mushroom stuffing, honey mustard brussels sprouts and pecan pie...
I retrieved a pound of mushrooms from the house...again, I am soooo glad I don't live there any longer...I almost began to cry at the mere thought...you are viewing hours and hours of cleaning...and orange-stained finger nails....ahhhhhhhhh...
Stuffing Components: Vegetable stock (which I made earlier in the week), butter, onion, olive oil, garlic, sage, eggs and parsley...and if you are a total idiot...forget to buy fresh parsley...ugh...
The key to the stuffing...a little secret which I will share with the entire world wide web..but just this once..croissants..they make for the best stuffing...I threw in a bit of baguette...never hurts...well, unless you slice your finger with a serrated knife...that DOES hurt, again...I know from first hand experience...
Saute..we always seem to saute, do we not??? Again..bootie shaking and the act of saute go hand in hand...and again, Green Day and bootie shaking go hand in hand..I sense a trend...and my nose IS twitching...and it is fun to saute and shake in the company of some Green Day..ummm, yeah...it rocks..like boys and those $100 bills...
"For reals, Mama...speaking of $100 bills...we gots to get those benjamins! I know my stuff!! Winkety-wink...."
Combine the mushroom mixture with your cubed bread and cook for approximately 40 minutes...350 degrees...
At this point you can move along and focus on brussels sprouts...the bee's knees in my book...I'm all about those green vegetables...ummm..and yum...hmmmm..like, oh, I know..wait...I do know the answer!
Brussels sprouts, dijon mustard, honey, butter, garlic powder and cayenne (the two latter components were not pictured...again, you do realize I am special...and not necessarily in a good way)..your patience is continually appreciated..
Roast in a 400 degree oven for 30 minutes then toss with your honey-mustard mixture...divine...like wine...and gin..hahahaha...not that gin rhymes, but it does taste like pine needles..and pine DOES rhyme...but I'm not a huge gin fan...and gin does not make for a very tasty strawberry daiquiri...and I TOTALLY know what I'm talking about here, folks...seriously...
Enough, enough about rhyming and gin and such...our pie! One can never forget the pie! A baked dish consisting of pastry dough filled with sweet ingredients...sweet like lots of things..we'll leave it at that for now...it's been a long evening...and I have a long list...sorta..well...kinda...maybe...we'll leave it at that...I can name other thing/things that are sweet...how's that???? Being cryptic...tenebrous, one might say...hmmm..is a hoot!
Pecans, sugar, vanilla, eggs, Karo syurp and butter...oh, and a pie crust...which I did not feature...I can't make a pie crust..again, ANOTHER inadequacy to add to my ever-growing list...so, at this point we will not have poached eggs with salsa and pie...I know I'm forgetting a few others...but...
Mix all of your ingredients..as I have professed in the past...they do NOT complain...nope! Not one bit...the beauty of it all...and the quiet cooperation...blissful...
The unbaked pecan pie...bake for 60-70 minutes...I did have a photo of the final pie...but it's lost in cyberspace somewhere, no doubt...It was delicious, however! Sugar makes the world go 'round...well...amongst other things..I do have a list...rather long..I shall refrain...your holiday gift of sorts...tisk-tisk...
The evening did wind down..and "The Situation" came over to the apartment..at my mother's insistence...
"The Sit" in "The Kit!" Hahahahaha...Get it??? Anyone who flaunts any sort of feature in that manner is staying in the kitchen.yup...No time for the drama...or his tanning stories...
We are headed off...to where, is unknown...my mother has taken over the apartment...I'm sleeping on the couch...which is conducive for certain activities...just not sleeping...it's more of a 'love ceat.' Get it??? Not big enough to be a couch, but too big to be a love seat... Hahahahahhaha...I DID come up with that one all by myself...Sleep deprivation...we've been up since 5am...I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving....Beware of Invisible Cows....And remember...James Clavell said it best, Only by living at the edge of death can you understand the indescribable joy of life...my mother IS in town..teehee...apropos..no???
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