"Ya know, Mama...all we need is love and beer! Merely an observation..."
Aside from this GEM, aka Bowling For Soup, which we re-discovered on The You Tube...we did work, went to DEQ and actually found time to cook...Yup...shocking, I know...I am truly hoping you were seated for this paragraph..perhaps I should have provided a little warning...it's all in the Paragraph, and not the Photograph...is it not??? hahahaha..now only Weezer fans will get that one!
Yeah...DEQ...an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back..Clean air..totally overrated..and after staring at that sign for 90 minutes, I wanted to burn tires...just so the air wasn't clean...I passed..barely...I did need to whip out my switch-blade comb..a desperate act..It worked!...shhhhhh....I promised that DEQ guy my lips were sealed... hmmm...hahahahaha
Tonight's meal...please have a seat...I'll be polite this time around..as these words are coming directly from an omnivore with severe carnivoristic tendencies, and I emphasize severe.....TOFU!! It's great...like Kung Fu..and Hong Kong Phooey, the number one super guy!..I sooo want a Phooeymobile! It would aid in my crime fighting..I already have a cape and such..shhh..
Tofu, Rice Vinegar, Soy Sauce, Garlic, Honey, Sesame Oil, Crushed Red Pepper, Carrot, Shiitake Mushrooms and Red Pepper..oh, and stock..absent from this photo, obviously..
Proceed to chop up the vegetables..again...chop and hop...this Bowling for Soup...SO worthy of a hop...and a bootie shake even! Almost the equivalent of that world tour from 2005..shhh....For reals...
The perfect way to spend an evening..well, especially when your social calendar is empty..yup..my neanderthal holiday boyfriend was a little worn out...no worries...besides, I needed to practice being the Girl All The Bad Guys Want..hahahahaha...since I know SO many bad guys! tisk-tisk..I could use a 40..oh, and maybe a nose ring..and fishnets..make that 40 of the Old E variety...tee hee..seriously..I have had way too many of those...again, I'll spare you the horror...
Peppers and carrots sauteed for three minutes in none other than...the Skillet of Justice...again...Mr. Jones...your spectacular voice has been requested...a tad bit of an over-kill..however..I cannot pass up opportunities such as these...I was speaking in regards to the use of my skillet...just to clarify...not that James Earl Jones appears at my doorstep every time I bring out my SOJ...if I were that lucky with celebrities showing up every time I mentioned their name...Darren Chriss would be a permanent fixture at the Headwaters...AND I woul d SOO not be blogging...seriously, trust me....and if that were the case, I'd totally have to give Billie Joe a call..fo' sho'!!
Again...we're going to saute...yeah..I am still using my Google Fu to find institutions which facilitate the ability to rehabilitate those with a saute disorder..it is rather unusual..I'll keep you posted..and once I enter the aforementioned program...you'll know...you'll be the FIRST to know..I am a sharing kinda gal and such...
Add 1/4 cup stock, honey, soy sauce, rice vinegar and crushed red pepper...to your mushroom and garlic mixture...allow it to reduce a bit...looks like a gigantic paisley, does it not???
Mix everything all together and allow the flavors to meld...to blend..to become friends and such..this can all go on while you prepare your tofu...and perhaps do a little kung fu..it is TOTALLY up to you..your call...I'm not a bossy kinda gal...nope...
Marinate sliced tofu in a tablespoon of soy sauce and sesame oil...you will be so grateful later...yup...
If you do not possess a grill or grill pan, continue by broiling your marinated tofu..
While all of these shenanigans are taking place...you'll need to be working on your rice..the side dish...an important and key player to the dish..and rice can be quite a player...like, ummm..I do know the answer...it IS on the tip of my tongue....
Rice, Chicken Stock, Cashews, Green Onions
Brown your rice in a little bit of butter..the butter, which I did not feature in the prior photo...again...I am a total WIP and filled with flaws...but I am certain you didn't even notice, as this photo is the most enthralling thing you've probably ever seen...it's like witnessing open heart surgery or a miracle or Halley's comet..yup..I just KNOW it is THAT exciting..I can sense it...the nose twitching...it never stops...will you need to enter a witness protection program???? In case the rice has questions and such???...looking out for you, and only you! I am thoughtful! Yup...
Cooked Rice, Chopped Cashews and Green Onions..(a little blog secret, and keep this on the DL...the cashews really were NOT chopped...I beat the heck out of them while they were in a ziploc bag..shhh...my reputation would be destroyed...I can't take a risk of that nature..however it was much easier than chopping..have you ever tried to chop cashews with a knife??? Total mess! hahahahaha...like me! again, the jesting continues...)
The moment which I am sure you never thought would arrive...what you have awaited for ..with bated breath...like The Merchant of Venice... I am rather humble, too! And Shylock..Morlock..they are rather similar...hmmm...Our meal...
Tofu steak with shiitakes and vegetables...
The evening has been long..eventful..fun..adventurous... and Bowling for Soup...AWESOME in every respect...All we need is some ice cream and a hug, especially from one whom resides on the east side...tee-hee...AND...With parted lips and bated breath I am sure you have hung upon every word and have been ghastly fascinated by this tale...AKA my blog...hahahahaha...and THANK YOU Mark Twain!!! Goodbye Friend...another great song...I wanna be like Hong Kong Phooey...for reals! Please join us tomorrow...it is all about a lot of things......I hope you have the time of your life...I really do...it is unpredictable...but in the end is right..
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