Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Pocket Volcano..

As I have proclaimed in the past...The Fred Meyer has EVERYTHING a gal could ever want...well, for the most part I suppose.  Perhaps I was a tad overzealous with that last proclamation.  I have these propensities...shhhhh...  E.V. and I were there today.  Our second home, basically..I snagged a few essentials, and some non-essentials as well as a little gift for a certain chainsaw juggler..I could hardly restrain myself..I just had to do it.  I know he'll thank me later..And while I was perusing the aisles...I stumbled upon this gem...
Science in your Palm...It allows one to experience a natural wonder of the earth...A Volcanic Eruption in the Palm of your Hand..and as they proclaim on the label...an awesome science gadget...

I am still laughing...on the verge of falling off of my office chair...laughing so much the dog is now hiding under the bed....The declarations on the package...lead one down a path towards nothing but sheer and utter disillusionment ..I played around with this a bit this evening..it is really lacking in the alleged capabilities...it is hardly scientific, nor is it quite a gadget...maybe if we said Go-Go Gadget Pocket Volcano...Wowsers!  Maybe that would make things better....

"Oh, dear...Mama...What are you doing?!!?!?!?!  You should really expand your horizons...go somewhere else and step away from The Fred Meyer...."

She is NO fun!  I wanted to do some interesting things tonight, since I will not be blogging tomorrow.  I know..I know..I'll give you a moment to absorb this information.  Can I get you a tissue???  Hahahahaha....again, I jest...but Simple Plan does say it best...You'll miss me when I'm gone..and that Pierre Bouvier really knows his stuff...he is super cute and would totally marry me..I just know these sorts of things...

Again, my proclivity for rambling has gotten me way off track...I will not be blogging tomorrow because I will be with my sisters at the Crystal Ballroom..for a very special occasion...something to which I have been looking forward...an event awesome in nature and have waited at least twenty years to witness in person...ERASURE!  Andy and Vince...A dynamic duo...not quite as dynamic as another duo with which I am familiar...but they are awesome!  The show should be a total hoot!

"Mama...do they allow dogs..I wanna hear Oh L'amour...It's my favorite!  Puhhhhleeeeseee take me!"

Again..way off track...where was I...oh, yeah...my Pocket Volcano and playing around with my new Pocket Volcano...You add baking soda and vinegar...would you like to see a couple of the eruptions...no safety goggles are necessary...unless you enjoy wearing safety goggles...I don't...I remember them from chemistry labs...They leave behind those weird indentations on your face....


I had hoped for something more colossal in nature...like hitting-the-ceiling explosion type stuff...nope...again..I believe science and it's awesomeness were not meant to be experienced in the palm of one's hand...hard to say...very hard...

Aside from screwing around with this Pocket Volcano...we carved up Phinneaus....Yep...he was a disappointment, to say the least..never did Swiffer the kitchen as I had asked...and I asked nicely..No worries..He is now a Jock, ah-em, I mean Jack-O-Lantern..
See!  I told you he was a seedy character....hahahahahahahhahaha.  Couldn't help myself...These afflictions and such...

SO Here is the new and improved Phinneaus...My precious Phin...

Jack-O-Lantern Extraodinaire...

He looks even cooler with the candle...

I honestly thought I had a picture of him when it became dark...he looks even more seedy...hahaha...alright, I'll stop.  But he did look more eerie in the dark...He does have eyelashes....and a cynical-looking smirk.  I tried as best I could with the knife...Yeah, that is cynicism..not poor knife skills.  Totally...

Playing aside, and we did play quite a bit in the apartment tonight...it was raining...rain is not conducive for hanging out on walls..no one likes the rain..well, Gayle was clever enough to create the ultimate wall pillow...a couch cushion wrapped in a trash bag.  It's a hoot!  Genius even!...alright..Moving along... We cooked!  Thank goodness, no???  I was starving...Balsamic Soaked Bacon Wrapped Shrimp, Pasta with mushrooms and blue cheese sauce and french green beans...Umm....


Shrimp, Bacon, Garlic, Ginger, Brown Sugar, Balsamic Vinegar

Here are the shrimp marinating...Just having a good old time soaking it up in an acidic liquid..Who wouldn't???

Ten minutes is all they need...The best ten minutes of their life..You can shake some bootie while they marinate..The Bloodhound Gang will thank you later for the little shake...They will...trust me!

You cook them in a 450 degree oven for approximately ten minutes...the power of ten....so powerful and logarithmic!  Hahahaha...

Introducing the components to our pasta...

Mushrooms, cream, cream cheese, butter, garlic and thyme...Zero calories...Yep...Zero..No fat, either...Why, you may ask...because I said so, that's why!

Saute the garlic and mushrooms in the butter...add your creams and cheeses and all of those zero fat components....

Heaven in a skillet..no skillet of Justice...but heavenly none the less....

I decided to spare you the hideously boring shot of pasta boiling...It wasn't all that hot and didn't warrant any blog space...I hope you can forgive me...

Here are the beans...you can't beat beans...well..I have exhausted that joke..so I shall just show you these delicious and beautiful strings of green beauty..like jugglers of the chainsaw variety, one might say...


Before I present our final meal...allow me to share a few E.V. photos...from our fall  'Automobile Photography' Collection.....Again, I will be an expert by Halloween..Yep..totally...A guru in the visual arts, so to speak...nah, more like an original..

 "Oh, Mama...How did you ever pass this driving exam thing...I probably do not want to know, as it was clearly not based on your ability to drive!"

 "Oh, Mama..mmm...I smell that chicken basket for $4.95 at DQ...can we stop..please...pretty please..." 
Ew and Ick..DQ???  Gross!  She should know better.  Super Ick...

"Alright, Mama...I have been patient...be sure and bring me a treat...after all, that Chainsaw juggler got a present...I deserve one as well!"

You all have suffered long enough...I think...hmmm...maybe you have not...I do have these slides from my 8th grade field trip and I could share...hahahaha...I am not THAT mean..at least, usually I am not... ;-)  Dinner...

Shrimp.  Pasta.  Beans.  Yum.  Simple and Delicious...(again, I shall refrain..but, for the record... I am delicious...however hardly simple..)

I implore you..go carve a pumpkin...go purchase a pocket volcano...go make some shrimp...remember 7 is a lucky number and 8 is great...chainsaw jugglers rock..so be sure and lurch around your neighborhood in your nightgown...it's raining!  Who cares!  Have fun...life is tooo short...I will be back..I know...please..again, do you need a tissue...???  See you all on Thursday...Stay tuned!

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