Friday, October 28, 2011

Prodigious Pink Handcuffs

Yup...No stuttering here, my friends...they rock..they are pink..they are functional..they are fun...we are totally sympatico....yup....hahahahaha...unfortunately they are teeny-tiny...maybe could be used to subdue a squirrel...or something of that nature...however, as I have professed continually...you want anything..you need anything..go visit The Fred Meyer...yup...

I had no one on whom these could be used..and trying to catch a squirrel is MUCH more difficult than one can imagine...SO, I hung them off of my skeletons...not the ones in my closet, mind you...in case you were wondering...they would require much larger handcuffs...shhhh.....

It is absolutely amazing what one can find in the little quarter machines in the lobby of The Fred Meyer...and speaking of handcuffs...I was fortunate enough to obtain this gem, as well...lucky day for us gals over here on the west side...one might say...tisk-tisk...not really...embellishment, my friends...complete and utter embellishment...we're just trying to be positive...otherwise..we'd be in a puddle of tears....

For Fifty Whole Cents...you, too, can own one of these necklaces...it is a handcuff...it does not function as a handcuff..but makes a mighty-fine necklace..I wore it for most of the day...well, until it began to turn my neck green...such is life....Isn't it a HOOT?!?!?!?!...Raise your glass...shake some bootie...where IS that wand??? Heck..it IS Friday night...time to party like rockstars and such...

"Hey, Mama!  Nice pink fittens!  I want some...although, they would probably be pittens....merely because I have paws!  Get it??!?!?!?!?  Hahahahahhaa...I crack myself up!"

We ran a few errands today, and had coffee with my friend Sue...oh, and worked..yep..ick..it did keep us out of trouble...however, Sue was not impressed with my giant pencil...I did take it with me to the Starbucks...she suggested therapy..hahahahaha..not for the pencil, mind you...

"So, Mama...do ya know what is a frog's favorite drink???? croaka cola...hahahahahaha..get it???  Is that Teenage Dream???   Well, turn it up!!  What are you waiting for!  Jeesh!!!  That Darren Chriss...hmmm and yum....."

Oh...I know..I have totally gone off the deep end..it IS the weekend..we roll no other way..so I will share with you one other find at The Fred Meyer...it made me giggle...it IS a toy...I named it my Projectile Pez..simply because it dispenses candy much like that of a Pez, but with force...it throws it right into your face...and can get some distance..rather impressive for $.99...

I call him Eli...after Eli Manning...he is a quarterback, for the Giants...pretty darn, cute, too..shhhhh...and, oh, boy...can this thing shoot candy across a room...I was expecting to be disappointed by the disclaimer on the packaging..as you know I always carefully inspect the packaging...but it did deliver...and then some...for reals!

Hmmm...where was I...football players..delivering..packages...Darren Chriss...I have TOTALLY gotten way off track...I really should do something about these afflictions...they almost seem to have gotten worse....I blame CSJ's..yep...and yup....

Anyhooo...we cooked...I know!!  Who would have known!!  I am so far off track...I feel like Bugs Bunny...and I even took that left turn at Alburquerque...We had sea bass..I understand I JUST had it last week...it's my new chicken...and my new favorite fish...I LOVE it!  It was prepared with saffron cream, potatoes and asparagus....easy and simple...tisk-tisk..No, it was..for reals...

Sherry, cream, butter, sea bass, saffron, thyme, asparagus and potatoes...which were not part of the picture...they were boiling..not from anger, but because they were meant to be mashed...although that may cause anger in some potatoes, however, not these potatoes...I explained the rules and what was expected...so...just sayin'

There were very few dinner prep photos...it was a relatively simple meal to prepare...well, I will make a Friday night confession..I DID get so caught up in cooking, I maybe, kinda, sorta forgot to snap some photos...oops...I promise...it will not happen again..I blame...Weezer...oh, and The All American Rejects...and my wand...totally not my fault...it never is!  nope...never, ever, ever!  The Girl Got Hot! 

I mashed potatoes, added a little egg, formed potato pancakes and fried...those other steps are missing, of course...try envisioning them in your head...close your eyes...think for a moment..can you see it????  yep..that is exactly what I did!  See...you missed nothing!  Swing..Swing!!!

After I pan fried the sea bass...again..no photos since I am a super-lame ginormous dork..I did make a saffron cream sauce....it was easy and saucy....hahahhaha...no comment...absolutely NONE....Now if you tilt your head wayyyy to the left...you can see a face...with horns....like a devil.....with a scorpion body...you really can!  get tilting....


Deglaze the pan in which you seared your fish...then add butter, cream, thyme, saffron, and a little love...that makes all the difference!  It is scientifically proven...I know my stuff...I do...ask anyone!  Remember...I DO own a handcuff gold necklace..so watch out!  hahahahahaha...

Nonsense aside...we did eat...yeah, we did...it was rather delicious..no complaints for a Friday night...well...I actually have a few...but, at this point...are you really that interested???  Yep..didn't think so...sooooo...moving along...

It's complicated...like me...like life...like an onion...layered...saffron cream sauce, asparagus, potato, sea bass, sauce, garnish...Taaa-dahhhhh...

"So, Mama...do you know the ideal weight for a mother-in-law????  About 2.3 pounds, including the urn...hahahahahahahahaha...Again, I continue to crack myself up...can't help it!"

I can't quite figure it all out...I don't even have a mother in law, yet these jokes just crack me up!  Perhaps it is the memory..who knows....As you can see..we did party like complete and utter rockstars over here tonight..I'm so totally sure I will be evicted...yup...hahahahahhahaha....prolly because of my handcuff gold necklace...it is rather flashy..and fetching...Sea bass rocks...as to fittens..and pittens...and pink handcuffs....again, we are totally sympatico...especially with those that juggle chainsaws...We shall remain...yup...

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